11 Weird Videos Found In The Dark Depths Of YouTube

By Chad Anthony on February 7, 2014

Photo via http://www.glogster.com

Having the ability to spread videos over the internet, free for anyone to watch, opened up an entire world of embarrassment, pain, and sheer lunacy to the unsuspecting, the timid, and the all-out willing Signal 20s.  Social media amplifies the quickness of viewership through hash-tagging, sorority girls sharing the clip with the caption “OMG you have to watch this, it’s like super inspirational,” and simplicity of access.

Don’t worry reader, I have perused the YouTubes for the kookiest and most “what the fruitloop” eliciting moving picture shows.  At the risk of wasting more time by procrastinating from actual homework, onward to the strangeness!

11. Purses can be deadly

- I always pull over on the side of the road to take a quick selfie near a swamp with my Chonga girlfriend.  All of my Instagram followers need to see that I’m in touch with nature.  Duh.  What I hate is when a 15 foot crocodile emerges from the shore and chomps down on my Cuban princess.  The croc must have known she loves bacon.  Rest in peace, Miranda-nita.

10. People willingly get whacked in the shin over and over and over

- Shin kicking competitions are all the rage, didn’t you know?  The world championship event has been held in England for many years.  As you can see, the opponents must hold on to each other’s jackets with their arms straight.  Some bouts have the weaker-shinned competitors unable to walk out of the rink.

9. Dwarf tossing isn’t just for the big-screen

- Beetlejuice is the dwarf star in this awkward mix of genetic malformations.  He’s dressed in a Superman costume, padded muscles and all.  The thrower seems to be the typical big and bald, southern biker, who is too intoxicated to operate anything, let alone hurl a human being in the air.  You can see Beetlejuice physically retract in apprehensiveness as Mr. Cueball screams his version of the English language.  I feel bad for the guy, he’s in the wrong costume.  Spiderman sticks to walls, not Superman.

8. Cringe-worthy three words

- Comedy Central’s relatively new show @Midnight with Chris Hardwick has a segment called “Cringe-worthy.”  The panel of three comedians must buzz in and give a three word phrase that is, well, cringe worthy.  This next video’s title and general existence is disgustingly weird.  I can’t bring myself to watch all the seconds of this abomination.  There’s a green puppet that looks like a real-life Scooby-Doo villain.

7. Hooray for being decent human beings

- My late night stumbles brought me to this internet “success story.”  This doesn’t border on the strange category, but it is quite amazing how this young YouTube-er shot to insta-fame.  He posted a video out of sheer elation because his first YouTube video received one “like.”  Reddit user “Dragonboltz” posted a thread encouraging others to like the video simply to get a reaction out of the boy.  As it stands now, SirFedora has amassed 24,000 Twitter followers, 50,000 YouTube subscribers, and close to a million views between the two videos on his channel.

6. It’s funny because she’s drugged–not that way you kook

- We’ve all been there – wisdom teeth surgery, tonsillitis, that random bender weekend with your doctor friend’s magic suitcase.  Think Marlon Brando on a morphine drip.  The inability to speak, coupled with not remembering anything, makes this hilarious.

5. Marketing departments conjure weird and depressing commercials

-  Automakers, such as Subaru and Volkswagen, have had their fair share of no nonsense, truthful commercials.  Thanks to one of my hall-mates, this tennis-ball bouncing child makes the list.  It’s like a M. Night Shyamalan movie without the excessive amount of explosions.  These types of commercials bring up an interesting shift in marketing effectiveness.  Does the public yearn for slap-in-the-face reality-type ads, or will everyone enjoy being pampered and coddled like sheltered puppies?

4. Australia is f***ed up

- Why people go to Australia befuddles me.  Almost every animal on the island has the capability to kill you.  Tiny scorpions hide in shoes waiting to claim their next victim.  Poisonous snakes slither into homes, causing slow and painful deaths.  The environment becomes so hot, that without proper protection, dehydration occurs.  And according to this “Stay in School” ad, their beaches are riddled with mines.  Depicting the typical white suburban upper middle class teenager, a group of four students play hooky, hop in a jeep and drive off to enjoy some beers and surf.  Naturally, everyone dies in an emotionally tragic, but disturbingly hilarious way.

3.  Pikachu should always be on drugs

- Remember Pokemon?  All the animals have special abilities and fight each other on the reg.  Their masters are slightly childish boys and girls who travel the world battling against other boys and girls in tension-filled, nonsensical grudge-matches.  This video exaggerates the underlying ridiculousness found in the animated show.  Similar to licking a toad, Pikachu starts tripping balls after receiving an acid attack from Muck.  It’s strange and weird and contorts all previous notions of Pokemon memories.

2. Energy!

- Red Bull, by some ungodly reason, has the ability to sponsor every genre of public entertainment.  Music production, extreme sports, and artistic development all fall under the conglomerates portfolio.  The higher-ups need to consider this gem of a company.  I’m definitely sold on their product.  I mean, uncomfortably energetic?  Sign me up!  What I’m not too ecstatic about is the side effect of having 400 babies.  Not cool.

1. Walking down the street with a 40 in hand like a BOSS

- Street life is tough sometimes.  Wearing all those baggy clothes with multiple layers and over-sized shirts makes for a ghetto fabulous wardrobe any time of the year.

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