Club to Coffee: Part 2

By Clayton Touchton on October 3, 2015

For everyone who read the last article “Club to Coffee” this is the elaboration from the cliffhanger that I left you all on.

For everyone who did not read my last article I will explain, in short, where we are: I have just given a synopsis on the process we go through before we go out to the Club (‘we’ being anyone who is old enough to go out and enjoy the Club scene): From the outfit to the mood music to get you “in the zone” to getting the attention of that person you saw by the bar that you wanted to talk to (or, that person you wanted to be approached by, rather) and this is what to do after, the options, if you will.

There are a few different options of engagement you have after you’ve caught the attention or you’ve acquired the attention of someone in this Club environment. Along with this type of meeting, one that’s usually accompanied by a certain amount of alcohol and what not, there is always a justification period you’ll go through, usually the night of – when you’ve calmed down – or the next morning when you wake up and this whole meeting comes rushing back into your memory.

There’s usually these types of people:

“Should I find that person on Facebook? I mean, is it even worth it?”

“They probably don’t even remember me. In fact, I hope they don’t. I was in ‘rare form’ last night and I was probably really into that Beyonce song that came on.”

Then there are these other kind of people:

“Oh yeah, totes going to find that person. Last night was great but it was because of *insert name here*.”

“I was on point last night, I bet they’ll find me on Facebook today. We really had a connection but, I mean, if not, I’m cool. Yeah, totally cool.”

Either way, there’s a connection that has to be made. That is assuming one is wanting it to be made in the first place. Ideally the people in the second set of questions above will meet up with the people in the first set of questions and, then, there’s a good chance something may come of it. Another interesting factor comes into play when a meeting like this occurs: Possibility. Is it possible that a meeting like this – going out to the Club with a group of friends and meeting a potential love interest – is even possible with today’s social media driven society?

I, for one, think that it is possible. I’ve been, rather recently, in this situation. In fact, my experience has been heavy on my mind not because of, particularly, the person I did meet but rather the chance that such a socially driven (rather than a social media driven) meeting could have happened and did happen. Personally I am more susceptible to such a situation because of the fact that when I go out to the Club I leave my phone at home. Too many awkward stories I have heard start with, “So, I texted my ex while I was drunk last night, and…”

With that, it is always so interesting to meet people face to face rather than seeing them, for example, on a social media dating app that lets its users know who all is around that is “single and ready to mingle.” There is a social intimacy that is missing when you “meet” people online but not physically seeing and meeting them in-person: What they look like without all of those filters that are available on a photo editor; What their personality is actually like in social situations; If they are able to hold conversation.

So, continuing with my personal experience and hoping that those who are going to read this can see themselves in a similar situation, I asked this person whom I had met to coffee. Sound a little old fashioned, I know, but consider this: When you are going out to the Club you are not exactly your usual self. You are hyped up on a little adrenaline mixed with some alcohol (if you’re of age, of course) and that alters, or can alter, how you interact with people you meet. Coffee dates are just the right amount of intimacy mixed with informality that is ideal for a face-to-face, one-on-one meeting. Don’t jump the gun with offering a dinner date: That’s too much for some people at first. Play it safe? Absolutely. If you don’t like coffee, or if the person whom you’ve asked to coffee doesn’t care for such a delicacy there are alternatives: Simple breakfast date (brunch, preferably); Walk in the park (yes, that is actually still a thing); Show each other your favorite place around campus (if you don’t have a favorite spot on FSU’s campus, do you really even go here?). The main goal is to be in a more intimate setting than a Club.

There you have it. You’ve gone from “Club to Coffee” with that person who you may (or may not, ultimately) have an interest in. Wondering if you should take the chance? What could happen if you do and it fails drastically? You meet a really cool person that could be a great friend? That really doesn’t seem like a “fail” to me but I guess I can be weird sometimes.

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