D.C. in Crisis: Answering America's Questions

By Reid Booker on June 10, 2013

It is difficult to turn on the news nowadays and not feel like the world is in an unremitting state of chaos with all of us only a moments notice from global thermonuclear war.  The only thing protecting us from complete disintegration is our national government, and with the advent of the NSA data mining scandal,  how can we be sure about trusting our government? I traveled to Washington D.C. to get the answers for myself.  What did I find? Was it reassuring? Was it unsettling?  In Washington D.C. I explored Smithsonian museums, government buildings, and other sights downtown in order to see what it is our federal government is really up to.

The National Zoo is free and is a popular branch of the Smithsonian Foundation.  The fact that all national museums are free had already peaked my suspicions. What is wrong with these museums that makes them free?  Why is the government trying to lure people to these places? The zoo itself houses a couple of pandas who each cost over one million dollars in rent to China annually.  Pandas spend sixteen hours a day sitting around and eating bamboo.  It is clear the first step to solving the deficit crisis is cutting off our panda fat.  Obama could hold a big panda BBQ for the homeless to simultaneously cut the federal budget waste and feed the hungry giving him a huge approval boost for his unprecedented third term.  Then he will be dangerously close to finally fulfilling the ancient Republican prophecy and claiming his throne as Overlord of the World.

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the fly river turtle.  This poor unfortunate turtle’s mutant pig nose is most likely the result of federal genetic experiments that combine two animals into perversions of nature.  That’s your answer to America’s economic problems, Obama? Mutant pig-nosed turtles?  This isn’t the change we asked for, Mr. President. Leave my turtles alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It looks as though aliens have indeed attacked our nation’s capitol as Independence Day had forseen.  Here we see the reconstruction efforts in front of the Capitol building as America strives to retain some vestiges of America’s majesty and grandeur.  Or perhaps this is the set up crew for Memorial Day festivities.  Government officials would not answer my questions.

 

 

 

 

 

At the National Air and Space Museum I found the Vostok I, the first ever thing to carry a person into space, piloted by Russian cosmonaut Yuri Alekseyevich Gagarin.  It appears our federal government captured the Russian vessel on its reentry into our atmosphere and put it on display with Yuri Gagarin still frozen by space and trapped inside.  Scientists say Yuri will awaken one day as a frozen mutant space monster and seek his vengeance upon the citizens of downtown D.C., or this is just a replica, I am still searching for the answers.

 

 

 

 

 

source: http://www.artsobserver.com/2012/01/01/graft-tree-by-roxy-paine-ringing-in-2012-with-symbol-of-life-growth-order-and-chaos/

 

I was not pleased when I found this robot tree in the Sculpture Garden of the National Gallery of Art.  Roxy Paine’s sculpture supposedly represents the conjoined nature of order and chaos and the hope of a new year.  However I see this “art” for what it truly is, government mandated robotification of nature and wildlife.  What are their goals? Will the robot trees be used as weapons to enforce tyranny upon the citizens of the U.S.?  Will they be used to watch us? So many questions while so few are the answers.

 

 

 

 

 

Pictured here is the Washington Monument in its current state of repair.  The Obama administration I am sure is tired of the old stone appearance and will most like plate the monument in chrome, much akin to the metal tree, and use it as a giant robot weapon that will terrorize people up and down the streets like Godzilla enforcing his robo-oppression. The sun sets on the monument, as it does on our great nation.  My fears were all too real.

 

 

 

 

 

The things that I saw in D.C. left me dumbstruck with fear and doubt.  Some may see the grand ornate architecture of national buildings and wonder at the unwavering principle and respect they represent, but others see the truth.  How could our government commit such unthinkable horrors and house such abominable secrets?  It seems as the though America’s concern about the competency of our leadership is more real a fear than ever.  The only thing that brings me peace in this time of hopelessness is that these old buildings from America’s origins are still standing in a salute to America’s infallible spirit.  A spirit which President Overlord RobO-bama may try to extinguish, or should I say exterminate, in the near future.

Follow Uloop

Apply to Write for Uloop News

Join the Uloop News Team

Discuss This Article

Get Top Stories Delivered Weekly

Back to Top

Log In

Contact Us

Upload An Image

Please select an image to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format
OR
Provide URL where image can be downloaded
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format

By clicking this button,
you agree to the terms of use

By clicking "Create Alert" I agree to the Uloop Terms of Use.

Image not available.

Add a Photo

Please select a photo to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format